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6 Tips for Transitioning Back to School
W hether you’re a parent or child, back-to-school season can stir up a lot of fluctuating emotions. One moment everyone’s excited to see their friends and get back into a routine and the next, tears are flying over “the wrong” school supplies, no one wants to go to bed early, and the anticipation for the new school year quickly turns into anxiety for all that comes with it.
We’ve all been there. No matter how many times you’ve done it, back-to-school time has a way of bringing out natural conflict in all of us. And can we just be the first to say – that’s okay. It’s normal if your child struggles with an adjusted bedtime, and yes, you are still a good parent even if you both have a last-minute meltdown in the school drop-off line.
So, breathe. Transitions are hard at every age, but there are a few helpful tips and tools that you can put in place to help this year’s transition go a little bit smoother (fingers crossed). We’re rooting for you!
1. Get into a routine.
While it’s tempting to soak up every last hour of summer, if your kids struggle transitioning back to school, easing into a routine those first few weeks will set you both up for success.
What does this look like practically? As you begin a fresh start to the school year, sit down with your family and have an open discussion about what your routine should look like. Be intentional about creating excitement for this new season (buying school supplies, meeting new friends, extracurriculars), but also set clear expectations on how everyone can help meet your family goals. Once you’ve determined a routine, start implementing it. Know that you can always continue to adjust and add to the schedule, but the biggest hurdle will be starting – so start slow and build out from there.
P.S. If you’re well on your way into the school year and just now getting around to this, that’s okay. It’s never too late to implement new family strategies. Every bit helps!
Helpful considerations:
Bedtime
Wake-up Routine
Screen Time Restrictions
Eating Habits
Social Interaction
2. Talk to your kids.
As parents, we often resort to talking at our children, rather than talking with them – especially during elevated moments. As you enter into the first week of school and even beyond that, challenge yourself to simply talk to your kids more.
Ask them how they’re feeling about going back to school. Are they anxious? Excited? If so, what about? Talk through the emotions they’re experiencing and don’t shy away from working through a fear or problem in real time. A lot of anxieties can naturally get brushed under the rug because we don’t create intentional space for them. So, let’s be intentional.
Start to create that safe space for conversation and encourage your child to do the same (with you and their teacher)!
3. Create a roadmap.
So much of back-to-school planning happens from the mindset of the home. The checklists are full of everything we have to buy, make, do, and get to. But just as important is creating a game plan for when your child is in the classroom. Big and new emotions are a normal part of entering a new season. However, it’s when a child doesn’t know how to navigate these emotions that they become overwhelmed and exhibit an increase in behaviors. So, a huge part of setting your child up for success is creating a roadmap, or a list of strategies, that they can follow as they begin to feel angry, frustrated, discouraged, etc.
What does a roadmap look like? It can be made up of anything that helps your child calm or regulate. For some children, it’s simply talking through what they can do in the moment:
- – Are you worried about getting to class on time? Why don’t we ask your teacher if we can leave your books in the classroom?
- – Are you nervous about meeting new friends? Let’s practice saying ‘hello’.
For other students, a roadmap can look like encouraging them to take a 5-minute break or sending them to school with physical self-soothing tools, such as a fidget toy or stress ball. Even if it feels out of the “school norm” (which, it will), don’t shy away from equipping your child with the tools they need to succeed.
Helpful consideration:
Be proactive about sharing your roadmap with your child’s teacher or counselor. The more support you can set up during the school day, the more opportunity your child will have to thrive.
4. Prep the night before.
It’s a tale as old as time, and it works! Nights are going to be busy, but mornings will get even busier. Whether it’s picking out clothes, making lunches, packing backpacks, or talking through the class schedule, anything (and we mean anything) you can do the night before is going to help your child’s day go smoother.
Like with everything, be intentional about involving your child in the prep. Make it fun! Play a game out of choosing their clothes, empower them to build their own lunch, and spontaneously reward them for a job well done.
5. Remember the basics.
Food, sleep, and exercise will always be the three foundational pieces for setting your child up to have a good day. And while it can be hard to balance it all, especially with multiple kids, if there’s three areas you work on, let it be these.
Food:
You won’t be able to control every aspect of this, but you can do your best to ensure your child has good options. For younger children, pack a lunch you know will fuel them throughout the day. For teenagers, though they’re prone to run out the door without breakfast, be sure to send them with a nutritional bar or two. And when both of them come to you after dinner saying they’re “hungry”, resist the urge to say no and instead offer a healthy snack. Let’s remember that food is energy.
Sleep:
Bedtimes, staying in bed, regular alarm routines – help your kids understand that when it’s time to sleep, we’re going to sleep. This can be a hard transition at first, but walking through the routine step-by-step (we’re going to put on pajamas, read a book, turn the light off, etc.) can ease the process and help children better anticipate what’s next.
Exercise:
Please do not interpret this as needing to get a gym membership. Your child doesn’t need to be lifting weights, but they do need to move their body. This can be a run in the backyard, a walk around the neighborhood, or a quick after-dinner bike ride. Whatever it is, start by aiming for 30 minutes each day.
6. Build in transition time after school.
Sitting in class, being on their best behavior, and interacting with people all day can take a lot of energy out of kids. And in the hustle and bustle of the season, we tend to forget that! So, rather than rushing into the next thing or immediately starting on homework, work to build in a transition time between school and home that allows your child to decompress. Depending on the day (and yes, give yourself permission to let it fluctuate), anywhere from 30-90 minutes can go a long way in preventing an after-school meltdown.
WHEN TO SEEK OUTSIDE SUPPORT
Raising children takes a village and so does sending them back to school. If you’ve taken the steps above and your child continues to display an increase in behaviors or emotions after 6 weeks, it may be time to seek outside support. Here are a few resources to get you started:
- – Talk to a school counselor.
- – Seek advice from your child’s pediatrician.
- – Connect with Shodair Outpatient Services.
Tip: The first step in seeking support is talking to someone who your child is already connected with. For teenagers, resist the urge to drag them along and instead invite them into the process – asking if they’d like to talk to someone other than their parents.
This article was written alongside Tricia Wagner, Shodair’s Director of Outpatient Services. Click here to learn more about our outpatient services.
